Once a month had slowly crept up to once every two months. Unfortunately, to give Whammer time to heal, they had to keep stretching the time between sessions. They filled out the rest of the show with Whammer doing a bit of improvisational screaming and moaning and “Dawg, that one really hurt,” kind of stuff. It also led to private parties where they would get $4,000 for a minimum of four smacks, no more than six. That had led to a bit on Comedy Central and SAG cards for both of them. The “Whammer Jammer Whompass Show” was the hit of YouTube. In fact, Whammer had a body tattooed with scabs and scratches and little pocks. He ripped the flesh a little pulling the bat out. Jammer gave Whammer another smack, this time in the fatty part of his buttocks. He’d heard “all the jobs have gone to China” so much he wanted to puke Chop Suey. Adam, who was “lucky to have a job” had some cheap-ass “we gotta cut costs somewhere” medical insurance, that wouldn’t cover the therapy because it was “non-sanctioned” or some such shit. WHAMMER JAMMER CROSSBOW SERIESUnfortunately, the series cost a little over $5000. Every six months, if Adam’s boy went in for a series of injections, he could live a relatively normal and pain-free life. There was a doctor who did experimental Botox therapy. Whammer had a three-year- old, whose leg muscles would seize up so bad the boy couldn’t walk. Whammer was Adam Summers and Jammer was Keith Ronsen. Of course, Whammer and Jammer weren’t their real names. “Oh dawg, that hurt,” Whammer said to Jammer as he took a hit in the ribs on his left side. You’d get a nice, wet, smacky sound and a bit of a blood splatter. The points stuck out little more than a quarter inch. The baseball bat had nails driven through it. If you could stay relaxed, it really wasn’t that bad. Think about anything except what was about to happen. The secret was to disconnect your brain so you didn’t tense up.
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